It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
