Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.