Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
