she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
