brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
