dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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