Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
