Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
