Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
