I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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