and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
