Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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