I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
