**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
