This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Green mimosas i think yes
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
