Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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