I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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