my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
