it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
