I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
