she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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