we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
