Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
