There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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