i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize