Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
