you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
