White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize