It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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