Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
