Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
And then he peed in my hair
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