After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Even my vagina gasped.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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