I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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