i already hear my dad disowning me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
