In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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