Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
