I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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