We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
