whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have aggressive nipples.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
