I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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