Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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