Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
