She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
