He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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