no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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