i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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