Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
