Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
