You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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