there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
