I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
