Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
