Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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