Plan B is the new Plan A
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I could make wine with my vomit
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize