Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
