dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
