i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize