Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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