i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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