and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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