K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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