I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
