I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
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