pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
