I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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