I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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