...so i touched it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize