New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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