I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
